IRRELEVANCE IN TIMES OF RELEVANCE
Exploring The Headlines That You Lack Interest In.
IRRELEVANCE IN TIMES OF RELEVANCE
Exploring The Headlines That You Lack Interest In.
QUICK TAKES: FALLING DOWN
A Worthy Throwback That Won't Waste Your Time.
I feel like Michael Douglas is one of those sink-or-swim kind of actors. His efforts in The Game are almost painful to watch - and as such have done him no favors as I see it.
But he fucking NAILED the William Foster postal meltdown guy in Falling Down. A movie I find exponentially better viewed today. The fact that he's a raving Liberal was missed on me back in the day, and it brings out the giddy. A refreshingly satisfying social-justice rampage normally reserved for the Basket of Deplorables Types: Biker Gangs, Rapists, Mafia, Capitalist Bros, etc. jockeying for the same played-out cash, drugs, dope whips, power, and loose women that have been mind-numbingly unremarkable for decades . As a result, Falling Down continues to stand strong on its own: As-Is. No remake is needed. Just re-release that sombitch today; and it's making rain tomorrow.
No deep plot to catch, no backstory filler bullshit. Only an anxiety-fueled trembling-hands phone call or two in a sweltering heat traffic jam, and he busts the last of his springs; then it's on.
From there, just sit back and enjoy a collection of what could be considered shorts; each representing a sympathetically-infuriating situation that people can relate to; and to reasonably deduce the very possible reality that these seemingly innocuous trespasses in 1 or 2 daily allotments would be frustrating enough. But, if by way of the cruelest of stacked-odds, Life sees it fit to offer you up an unsolicited chain-reaction helping of these triggers - without warning - all bets are off. As they should be.
If you liked, wanted to like but you're meek, or even smiled to yourself in secrecy at that last sentence, then you'll be positively tickled by the exceptional way Douglas does justice to self-ordained Rev. Foster with brilliant displays of manic hand-waving and wild-eyed grievance preaching to his congregation by force in the moment.
With some sweet fucking straps and a bazooka. Word.
Siskel, Ebert, & LowCa$h
THE AUDACITY OF THE GRAYS
It's Time to Fight Back
Only the most cruel of space fauna would be willing to claim the mantle of being kind enough to parlé such exquisite tantric-grade ass-play, yet selfish enough to offer up only a memory-flash followed by hooker-grade post-probe curb-side dump-off for your efforts.. I know that I sound bitter. I'm not, though. Just looking forward to the remote possibility of future diplomacy.
Knowing what I know now, I lack no confidence in my ability to overpower a mess of 'em in richeous fury - at least long enough to butt-fuck-kick-fell at least a couple into one of those super-reactors like Emporer LightningDigits from STARWARS found his Waterloo getting his ass tossed into Skywalker-style.
I reckon that this could and would help to wipe the barely discernable, technology-enabled rapist smirks from their dinner-plate-sized-ocular-orifice-clad jibs for at least a picosecond. That is, until I'm despaghettified in an Event Horizon-class torture module.
Whatever... The joke is on them.
Check it:
What has two thumbs and can claim at least short-lived witness to a sequence of intergalactic hijinks like these that result in synthesizing at minimum a nano-waitwhat of electro-congnitive stimuli significant enough to spark measurable fear in the super-sized victimizer-class neuron-clusters bobbling about atop the laughingstock-of-the-universe-grade shoulders afforded to this cartoonish lot of intergalactic penetration perpetrators?
On this hypothetical stardate to remember? This guy. I hope.
And, thanks again for asking.
IT'S ABOUT TIME
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Your Accurately Inaccurate Take. Without The Pesky Facts.
Your Accurately Inaccurate Take. Without The Pesky Facts.
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At ChannelWhatNews, we promise an honestly dishonest take on the hard-hitting news stories that, by most accounts, have little to no effect on the lives of you and your loved ones. We strive to bring you the least important formerly-up-to-date stories that you don't want. Or need. NOW!
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Your Accurately Inaccurate Take. Without The Pesky Facts.
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So say people with an over-abundance of spare time. Let's face it - nobody likes these people.
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